so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
