I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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