i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
