I'm going to jail i love you
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
