hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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