I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
now i know why i became what i already was.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
