happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
