i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
