She's JV to your varsity
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
