You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
