Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
