Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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