good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
