so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
