i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish you could order shots online.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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