i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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