I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
