I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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