Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just had sex on a roof
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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