Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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