There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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