Even the bartender felt bad for me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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