Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize