So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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