Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
