How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
