If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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