She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
