You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
