I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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