no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
