I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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