I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
