So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
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Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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