We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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