i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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