Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
