if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
