i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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