we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
