I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
