is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
