i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
