it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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