He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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