This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
