my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
