I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Randomize