He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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