Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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