before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
