He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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