I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
