do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
