Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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