Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
