This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
