i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize