just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
