I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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