Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
